I Have a Dysfunctional Relationship with my Sewing Machine

Pic: brand name smudged to protect the guilty. 

Like a woman in a bad relationship, I have tried for far too long to make things work with my sewing machine. I bought it, what? Twenty years ago? I tried, goodness I tried. I thought it was me. The ongoing problems with thread tension - perhaps I was pulling too much? Not enough? Maybe the thread was cheap? Too thick? Was the thread spool paper grabbing the spindle? Oh, I cleaned that machine. Oiled all its parts. Every time I needed to use it, I'd check it out. Make sure it had the right needle for the fabric on hand. I'd carefully test-sew on fabric scraps to make sure the bugs were worked out before starting any project. Sometimes I could get an hour of sewing done before the thread tension would vomit all over. Other times, it'd take only five minutes for tension failure. 

I finally took it in for a professional tuneup last year. Perhaps there was some glitch that I, in my ignorance, had overlooked. Brought it home, started sewing, then kerplooey - tangled, broken thread, from either the bobbin, or from the top side. 

You'd think I'd learned my lesson. Nope. It took a few more months...

The bags I use to haul sorted recyclable goods to the Transfer Station have been falling apart. Took a look at one person's method of re-using feed bags, got inspired to do my own variation, and picked up some emptied bags that were returned to the local feed store. Scissored some leftover pant-legs from cutoff jeans for handles. Then started sewing.

This project brought me to tears. Four measly bags, nothing fancy, no lining, and yet: missed stitches. Broken and snarled thread. Even the heavy-duty needle, made for denim & woven fabric, broke. Then came that watershed moment where I snapped, when I finally realized...

"It's not me, it's YOU! Yes, YOU, you good for nothing piece of @#$!! sewing machine! I've had it! I've made excuses for you, stood by your side when others made fun, and yet you still let me down. You've taken advantage of my good nature for the last time."

"Don't try to sweet-talk me. Don't start batting your eyelashes. I've fallen for every trick you've played, and I AM FINISHED. I'm not even going to bother trying to sell you or give you away to a thrift store - I wouldn't want anyone else to suffer the misery you've put me through. At this moment, I  am mentally searching for the last place I left the sledge hammer. Tell you what, I'm a good sport - obvious from all that I've put up with over the years - I'll give you a five-minute head start to hit the road. Just know that if I ever catch up to you, they will never find your body."

UPDATE: My mother-in-law, who has decades of professional tailoring/sewing machine experience, says that inexpensive plastic sewing machines like mine have issues with parts overheating and shifting, which is most likely causing the tension problems. Wow, whodathunkit? 

Tomatoes and Plums and Limoncello, Oh My!

Pic: "Dirty Girl" saved-seed tomatoes

Two of the seven tomato varieties planted this Spring are already ripe enough to eat. One is the Monster Mystery 'Mater (the volunteer from the compost pile), and the other is the Dona F1 hybrid. The MMM has sweet flesh, but the skin is slightly bitter, which is actually the norm for most tomatoes - still quite tasty. The Dona F1, however, has both sweet flesh AND sweet skin. Very interesting! Will save seed from the Dona, and see if it re-seeds true to its original form next year.

The "Dirty Girl" tomatoes are just beginning to redden. Looking at the plants, I'm thinking this variety is a "determinate": one big harvest, then the plants will give up the ghost for the remainder of the season.

pic: plums with bird alterations

The one plum tree that has kept fruit 'til, well, full "fruition" this season has been noticed by the local birds too. In the mornings, I now pick breakfast off the tree - any ripe plums that are also bird-bitten. The birds eat a few chunks from the ripest plums, then leave the rest. Rather than waste an otherwise perfectly good plum (of which these are absolutely delicious, by the way), I eat around the bird bites, then throw the remainder of the plum to the chickens. We all get a nice morning treat, and no waste. I could go to the trouble of throwing bird-netting over the tree, but the harvest isn't so large as to be worth the time or effort. I am happy to share... THIS year. May have to install a few more white mulberries as birdy food-distraction trees for the future.

The limoncello experiment made earlier this year - with Everclear as the base, mind you - has been taste-tested by five different folks now. The initial comment on the flavor after initial sip (then a head-rock backwards, followed by wide-eyed rapid blinking) is a diplomatic "medicinal!" After a few more sips the comments change to "not bad", then a few more sips ends with "hey, this is all right!". I think the later opinions may be influenced in a blood-altered sort of way, and not truly impartial *ahem*, but that's okay. We're all happy by the bottom of the glass, and that's what counts. This particular vintage is being named "10K Limoncello" in honor of @Virgotex's Twitter remark that she'd tried a shot of 10000-proof limoncello at my place. I think a label needs to be created...

Pic: 10K Limoncello. You know you want some of this
head-rockin' goodness, yes you do! 

May: Post Surgery, and Garden Progress

The beginning of May brought surgery to relieve a trifecta of issues: frozen shoulder, bursitis, and a bone spur causing impingement, all in one shoulder. Recovery is still ongoing, and many thanks to Spouse and one of The Aunties for flying out and taking care of the farm and myself while I careened between the recliner, the flexibility (i.e. torture) chair, and the bed while in a drug-induced haze. Sorry, no pictures of THAT.

Sicilian Buttercup hen. Say, is that
a katydid leg sticking out of her mouth?

The earlier work on lawn/pasture seeding is still in question. The millet (which was included in the pasture bermuda mix to shade the bermuda while it grows) is doing well, but the bermuda growth has been slow. Hoping it didn't get too hot, too fast for good growth. A large portion of the lawn/pasture is also still covered in wildflowers: salvias of all types, bee balm, a variety of daisies, "Mexican hats", and more. I love watching the ducks and chickens rooting around between the clumps of flowers in the morning, hunting for grasshoppers, crickets, and katydids. Later in the day, the ducks rest in the shade of these wildflower clumps, quietly waiting out the afternoon heat.

Plums

In the orchard, the apricots ripened early and the trees are now resting for the season. Not much harvest on the apricots, peach & nectarine trees this year, as I forgot to spray the dormant oil until it was too late. On the other hand, one plum is going gangbusters, and one pear and one apple are doing well. The other plums, pears & apples seem to have decided that they did their duty with cross-pollination, and so have taken the season "off". Too early in the season yet to tell for the figs, but almost all the figs have fruit forming, even the small ones we rooted & potted from another tree last year. And of course, the Meyer lemon and Mandarin orange are doing well. Still want to add some regular lemons & limes to the potted tree populace.

Dona F1 tomato, ripening.

The volunteer tomato that was transplanted from the compost pile is an absolute MONSTER. The "Dirty Girl" tomatoes are doing terrific as well. The San Marzano tomatoes are growing surprisingly slow; I may need to do more research on their growing preferences. Maybe it got too hot, too fast? The Dona F1's are fruiting nicely, and I expect to taste ripe fruit in the next few days. All the other tomatoes are chugging along just fine.

The sweet potatoes are looking good, and the beans and corn are growing, but the squash, okra and eggplant aren't quite sure if they'd rather live or die.

Young bunny. I'm ignoring its destructive powers for now.

The brood of newborn bunnies didn't stay in the one tomato bed for long - they grow up fast - but I think one of them is still hanging around. For a wild bunny, it lets me get fairly close, so was able to take a few photos the other day. CUTE!

Container Garden & Raised Bed Surprise: April Progress

The volunteer tomato we found growing in the compost pile was first transferred to a container, then to the raised bed. I think the other tomato seedlings are afraid of it - they're still not thriving like this monster.

The sprouting sweet potato that I cut in half and planted, sprouting sides up in the garden bed? Growing like weeds. Love it.

The Dirty Girl tomatoes (from saved seed) are also growing healthy and strong.

The container garden, at this point, has six tomatoes (because fifteen other tomato plants just ain't enough) plus basil, cilantro, flat-leaf parsley, and oregano. We've a couple of Italian fig cuttings that have taken root and put into pots until we figure where to plant 'em. A Mandarin orange tree, a small Meyer lemon, and a bay laurel tree, all potted. Oh, and some mint. I managed not to kill it somehow. Will wonders ever cease?

In the house: Thai lime, aloe vera, and thyme. So far, so good.

Oh, forgot to mention: those Dirty Girl tomatoes? They're also playing hostess to...

...four baby bunnies. I heard a yelp when I was watering, and found the burrow. Go ahead and squee. I won't tell anyone. 

The Wandering Moe-Duck

"Moe! Mooooe! Where are you, Moe?" Moe Duck, the Queen, usually responds to her name with a sound that reminds Spouse of the villain "Penguin"'s laugh in the old Batman television series. For three days, she did not respond, day or night.

Pic: Her Highness, Queen Moe

"Moe! Mooooe! Where are you, Moe?" For three days, my neighbors did not firebomb the property out of exasperation during my long, plaintive calls. Thank you, neighbors.

Oh, I worried. I fretted. By the second day, I wondered if I needed to start writing her obituary. By the third day, I gave her up for dead. Oh sure, there was an outside chance she'd gone broody somewhere, but since Khaki Campbells aren't known for their broodiness - they're far more career-minded - well, let's not give one's self false hope, eh? After all, whatever happened to her was probably all my fault. [I've never been one to pass up a good self-flagellation.]

Then on the morning of the fourth day, through my pre-coffee dazed gaze, it looked as if one of the ducks had somehow escaped the duck pen and was trying frantically to get back in. No wait, it's Moe! "Mooooooeeee!" I yelled, waking everyone across the tri-county area. She responded with a "quackquackquack", as if to question where the heck was her share of morning lettuce? I opened the gate to let her in, then gave everyone their stash of greens.

[We've enough pasture now that the geese & ducks really don't need store-bought greens anymore, but this keeps down over-excited intermingling (and pecking) of the various birds until they've all calmed. Morning routine is THAT exciting, y'all.]

I watched her eat, then dash out of the pen, root around the pasture/lawn areas, and then toddle off behind the Chicken Haus, alone... hey, wait! Walked over to the coop, and she had vanished. Poof! She was not to be seen again until the next morning.

This has been her routine for the past few days. I'm finally past having a heart attack each night she doesn't respond, and am taking it on faith that the dogs will do a good job of keeping her protected outside of the night pen. Now taking bets that she has a nest somewhere, and if the dogs don't find the eggs first, possibly a batch of Moelings within the next 28 days. Will keep you posted. Yay Moe!