Spring has arrived, and boy-howdy are we happy

Winter felt like it would never leave. I can only imagine how folks in the Northeast feel, where some just now are seeing crocus and daffodils, and trees budding.

Here, we're experiencing daytime temps in the 70's. The trees have already leafed out. Viewing the hills shows a patchwork of green canopy ranging from bright to dark. The live oaks have shed & re-leafed, and their flowers have dropped. The first wave of wildflowers are starting to fade - bluebonnets and paintbrushes - and the second wave is coming into bloom: firewheel, "indian blanket", and coreopsis. Around the farm, we also have a couple varieties of native purple sage flowers, daisies, and verbenas.

The hens are laying eggs in abundance. Spring brings the best eggs, as the hens are eating fresh young greens and loads of newly hatched bugs.

The geese have finished their egg-laying season, and are much quieter. We can sleep through the night now without bolting awake due to noisy nest fights or woo-frenzy.

The ducks are thrilled with all the Spring rains we've had, making messes of puddles wherever they find them.

The dogs are no longer napping on the porch; their preferred spots are the grass or the kitchen doorstep (I'm guessing because that's where we store treats).

There's a truckbed full of compost waiting to dress the orchard trees and the veggie beds. Suppose I better get to it!

Feel Free to Laugh at Our Pain

Video was taken a few years ago, but the situation remains the same: it's egg-laying season for the geese, and the geese are crabby. Thankfully it's only four months out of the year.

I Love This Goose & Duck Feeder, Okay?

Installed the last new poultry and waterfowl feeder a couple weeks ago. It took the place of an old goose feeder station that used two baby pig troughs mounted on a backboard. While prepping for replacement, dug out the sunken pavers that held up the old station so it could be re-leveled. When I saw all the worms wriggling in the dug-up soil below, I called over the hens so they could have a snack.

I've seen at least one of these girls swallow a small snake, whole. Despite those kinds of instincts, these hens did not understand the concept of eating worms. What???

A few brave souls would eyeball a worm, pick it up and give it a shake. They'd then drop the worm and walk away. Ooookaaaay. I had to make up for that obviously bad call by scattering some scratch for them to eat. I have a reputation to maintain as the biggest providing rooster, you know.

photo of the Saturn 3 (smaller feeder)
courtesy Premier 1 Supplies

Moving along: All the moving, digging and leveling done in the area of the old feed station left me smelling of waterfowl spit and old fermented grains. The work (and smells) were worth it all, however, as the new station is nice and level, and there will be so much less waste with these new feeders, Saturn 15's from Premier 1 Supplies (and no, I'm not getting paid for this review, it just took a long time to find a good feeder large enough for ducks and geese).

The Saturn 15 has larger feed openings than the Saturn 3, and easily fits most duck and goose heads, although you could always remove every other "bar" on the grill if you needed larger openings. The feeders have eliminated a good 80% or more food waste, which is a significant cost savings when it comes to organic chow.

Some things I've learned about using feeders - in general, and specifically the Saturn 15 - for ducks and geese:

Photo of ours, the Saturn 15.
Not as pretty as Premier 1's photo. 

1. Since they need to drink water to wash down dry feed, one needs to keep drinking water near the feed station. They will often grab a mouthful of feed then dunk their beaks in the water. This can lead to drinking water needing refreshing twice a day, so the grains don't start fermenting.

2. When ducks & geese move from water bowl to the Saturn 15 feeder, their wet beaks can leave moisture in the feed, which may clump and block feed in the tower from refilling the base. You'll want to raise the tower to sit at its highest level on the base, and to check the feeder to ensure free-flowing feed. I give our feeders a few shakes every night to ensure the base is filled.

3. If you don't hang the feeder, the small "hat" at the top of the feeder can get knocked off by a stiff breeze or a curious goose. I use a carabiner clip at the top to keep the hat on the feeder. The hat also keeps chickens from trying to roost at the top.

4. Although feed gets eaten rather quickly around here, the fats in organic feed/grains can go rancid if kept too warm for long periods of time. Keep feeders protected from direct sunlight. Spouse built these wooden feed protectors for both sun and rain protection.

The one downside: we had hoped the new feeders would keep out the dogs, who believe that being fed twice a day is not quite enough. Since they no longer have the easy access like they did the old feeders, they've taught themselves to lick the feed out from between the grill bars instead. *sigh*. Dogs.

*splutter* Winter?

I mean, what the heck happened to Fall??? Texas has been hit with wave after wave of Arctic downdrafts. The cool concrete flooring I wax so joyously about in the Summer now feels like a block of ice, and this year (like last year, and the year before) I swear to get a couple of good sized area rugs to stave off frostbite. I mean, it's so bad that when Spouse surprised me with a pair of insulated muck boots for Christmas, I almost cried - I need them for inside almost as much as outside. Of course, I could just buy the d*mn rugs already...

The biggest event since last post has been The Flood. Our area received eleven inches of rain over a single night, ripping up the roads within AND leading out of the community. Spouse and Uncle brought in a few loads of roadbase right away to patch up our biggest ruts, but we ended up needing three more dump-truck loads to complete all the needed repairs. Our next-door neighbor was a tremendous help, loaning his time & tractor skills not only to repair our culverts and rutted road, but also assisting other neighbors, and doing what he could to temporarily shore up the community road until we all finish fundraising for a pro fix. If it weren't for him, we'd still be 4x4'ing to get anywhere. Thank you D. (and spouse T. for letting him!), more "spontaneous" smoked ribs coming your way!

pic: tangerines, satsumas & limes

In the category of "Hopes & Dreams", the first seed catalog to arrive this season was Good Seeds from Baker Creek Heirlooms, right before Christmas. Second in the mailbox was Bountiful Gardens, the gold standard for everything heirloom, untreated & open pollinated. I've put in a catalog order for Southern Exposure Seed Exchange in hopes of more varieties that will work well in our semi-arid region. Our "average" last frost is in mid-March, and if I want any Summer tomatoes at all, I'll need to start seedlings in early February.

While the garden may have been an epic FAIL in 2013, we had a nice Winter harvest of citrus. There are still some fruits ripening on the trees, but initial harvest of limes gave us enough for two ice-cube trays full of juice, which was promptly frozen & stored for future use. Other limes were used fresh for personal libations, on those few porch-sitting, warm weather days.  Spouse shored up & modified our old kit greenhouse to accommodate the taller citrus trees. The structure has done well by us: it's been a greenhouse in the Winter, and secondary duckpond structure in the Summer. We really need to get a bigger, sturdier greenhouse built in 2014, however, as this one is on its last legs. The plastic joiners can only be repaired so much, and the geese have chewed the edges of the plastic tarp cover to ribbons.

pic: yes, the geese did this

The chickens started their annual egg-laying slowdown around late August, and all but two hens went on outright strike until the other week. Our girls are getting older, but even the youngest (who are less than 2 years old) said "meh". Of course, when the light wanes the girls lay less by nature. We could put a 12-hour timed light in the henhouse, which would trick the girls into laying a few more eggs during Winter... but, nahh. Just two weeks after Solstice, however, the two youngest girls started adding to weekly egg tally, and I'm guessing by late February, we'll be back up to a decent production, enough to sell again. May get a handful of Welsummers to freshen up the flock this Spring. Had high hopes the Welsummer rooster would work out and give us a few pretty babies, as Lucky's progeny turn out too flighty for my preference, but Lucky the Leghorn rooster Did Not Want. The two roosters fought until bloody, with Lucky getting the worst of it. Lucky ultimately won the war by virtue of being a known good roo to the ladies. The Welsummer was shipped off to a new home. Perhaps I'll wait for another rooster & homegrown chicks after Lucky retires to the henhouse in the sky, so to speak.

pic: Nutmeg the Cubalaya, RIP

Speaking of chickens, we did lose one of the Pecking Order Enforcers from our first hand-raised flock, the small yet mighty Nutmeg. She'd been slowing down for a couple of months, and (what turned out to be) her last two weeks I'd bring her inside the house at night, where it was warmer. During her last week, she'd walk towards the house at dusk instead of the coop, and wait for me to bring her inside. She was the only hen that Bandit the dog would willingly share morning breakfast. She is survived by her sister Cinnamon, and two others of the original flock. We will miss her.

Now that Bandit's been mentioned, I must report that most of our savings for a garage has been spent on getting her knees repaired - yep, both back knees. One blew out late Summer, and the other right before Thanksgiving. It's a good three months of rehab (thankfully, we can do that for her ourselves), then three more months before the knee is solidly healed. Not that I know all that much about joint repair and rehab, mind you. I'm not bitter, I swear.

We still have the full flock of ducks: nine hens, and one drake. The ducks experienced a major egg slowdown like the chickens this season, then egg production rose these past few weeks as well. I'm on the lookout for paperboard duck-egg cartons, so if you happen to see any in your 'net wanderings, drop us a line in the comments? Gracias!

pic: Queen Moe,
in dressing room sans costume

Queen Moe had a moment of stardom this Fall when she won Second Place (in the "exotics" category) at a Pet Costume fundraiser for a local convalescent center. I whipped up a pumpkin cape for her back, and prayed no-one would judge for quality stitching. She beat out a horse painted like Nemo the clown-fish, but lost to two small children who painted up their hermit-crab aquarium so their crabs looked like they lived in an undersea world. [One friend mock-huffed "ageism!" Never compete against small children with pets*, or something like that.] Moe was a right trooper, letting herself be carried to, and petted by, all the seated patients in attendance. Her Majesty let me know she was ready to go home by tugging on my shirt towards the end of the event. Not sure where the video of her doing the shirt-tug is hiding, so the pic with ribbon award will have to do.

Last, but not least, we're now preparing for the arrival  of Extreme Goose Crabbiness, also known as Goose Egg-Laying Season. There have been signs, such as heightened annoyance (versus regular annoyance) when anything non-goose gets near, and some of the ladies have been seen checking out the undersides of bushes and other likely laying spots. No synchronized head-bobbing in the Pool o' Woo yet, nor any gander battles either, thank goodness. We wait with bated breath, chewed fingernails, and protective gear at ready.

*"Never work with animals or children." - W.C. Fields

DIY Duck & Goose & Dog Pond Filter system

Spouse writes:

The eight geese and two dogs foul up the goose pond in about 4.5 days during the summer. The pond filter we have used for the last few years was a pressurized number that used an external pump. The old pond pump worked under horrible conditions. It had to pump goose poo "soup" continuously. It was stepped on when the dogs jumped in to cool off in said soup. The geese chewed on the power cord while making aforementioned soup... you get the idea. We have gone through a lot of pumps. The current incarnation is more of a pump in a cage. We have a regular 500 gallon per hour pump in this box (http://www.homedepot.com/p/Total-Pond-Mechanical-and-Biological-Filter-Kit-MF13010/202278958). It is connected to a 15 foot length of lead free 5/8 lawn hose connected with a ½ inch adapter. The old pond filter was just too small to take  - err – "soup" and make it spring fresh.

<insert boring design explanation of latest pond filter operation>
I wanted a large three stage filter. The first stage is mechanical filtration at the pump to make sure that the submerged pump runs without incident. The second stage is a a clarifier so that any particulate that makes it past the mechanical stage settles out before the third stage. The third stage is the biological stage. Bacteria - living in some sort of media - consume and filter out the remaining wastes still in the water. For the media, I am using three bags of lava rock.
<end boring design explanation of filter operation>

The resulting filter is part gigantic aquarium filter, part pond filter, and only slightly overbuilt (I hope). I used the filter described here (http://www.runnerduck.com/pf1.htm) as the basis for the new filter with just a few modifications. I switched to 55 gallon drums. I added an extra tank for a clarifier. And swapped out the filter pads for 3 bags of lava rock to host the aquarium bacteria that were going to convert the soup to clean water.

Here is a is the end result...

[the completed project]

Water is pumped from the pond through the light green hose into the clarifier.(the barrel farthest from the pond. The water enters the clarifier from the top which allows the particulate to fall to the bottom and the water flows out the side and into the media tank.. The water is piped to the bottom of the media tank under a plastic screen which is elevated 4 inches off the bottom. View from the top before the lava rock went in. The plastic screen rests on s stand made out of PVC as detailed on the runnerduck page link above.

[media tank BEFORE lava rock was added]

Here it is with the media barrel loaded with lava rock.

First thing I found out was use real bulkhead fittings like these: http://www.homedepot.com/p/1-1-4-in-EPDM-Washer-Bulkhead-MPT-x-FPT-Union-PL-1846-1-1-4-inch-Bulkhead-Union/203258816
Trying to make your own out of pipe pieces scavenged from the plumbing aisle only results in leaks, cursing, and a floor show for the geese who inevitably arrive to supervise.

Second: size the outlet bigger. But maybe not this big:

[the outlet. the filter screen below in the pond was temporary]

That is a ½ inch inlet being drained by a 3 inch outlet. Sort'a of like a grapefruit launcher loaded with raisins. I did have a one inch outlet but that barely kept up. I doubled the size of the bulkhead fitting to 2 inches but all I could find on short notice is the three inch pipe with an adapter.

Here is the inside of the media barrel with water running through it.

The pump has been running for 4 days and the water is just as clear as when we filled it up after cleaning it the last time. The water clouded up for a few hours after I added aquarium filter bacteria but otherwise it has been clear. The animals are certainly using it. The chickens play with the bubbles produced by the outlet stream. One of the dogs, Bandit, has been in it every day as have the geese so the filter appears to be working. We will still have to clean the foam filter on the pump box but that takes a fraction of the time compared to doing a full dump* and scrub. We still need to figure out a way to clean the bottom of accumulated leaves, feathers and whatever else the geese pull into swim with them. But so far the new filter system has been successful.

*d.a. writes: the aforementioned "dump" is actually pumped out to each of the fruit trees. It takes awhile to do so, but we don't waste water here in South Central Texas, y'all.

Keep Calm and Raise (Hell-)Geese

The geese finally started laying their eggs about the same time I posted "Resistance is Futile for Us Beginners". It was a huge relief to know the egg-laying season was kicking into gear, for the sooner the season starts, the sooner it ends.

Raise "Hell-Geese" Would Be
More Appropriate For Our Flock.
[pic/shop: MilleLacsImpressions] 

Miraculously, I found each and every nesting site as they were created, and have deduced the laying cycle as well. We're retrieving an average of 10 eggs a week from six females. The opportunity for egg poaching by the dogs is at an all-time low. Maggie is miffed.

About a week before egg-laying started in earnest, Spouse fenced off the side and front garden beds, for in past years there were unholy 4:00 AM squabbles/shrieks over nesting spots under two of the rosemary bushes - one of those bushes being under our bedroom window. A third creeping rosemary bush on the far corner of the house was left out of the fencing equation, logic being:

1. it had never been used as a nest before, and 
2. it appeared to be too small for them to scoot under and lay eggs. 

There is no appealing to logic when it comes geese.

They have chewed an opening into/underneath the rosemary canopy and created a cozy little nesting spot. At this point, it is too late to fence it off, as the geese will find ways to dislodge or even literally climb the fence in order to get into an established site. Since it's just one nest close to the house - most of the girls have created nests elsewhere - the 4:00 AM squabbles are happening "only" every other night or so.

I'm counting out the sleeping pills. If I time it right, I may have enough to last the season.

No Goose Eggs Yet?

There's been no breeding dominance fights between our ganders, Billy-Bob and Gerdy. No canoodling in the Pool o' Woo. No squabbling (aka 'shrieking') under our bedroom window for a nesting spot under the big, bushy rosemary - prime egg-laying real estate, if you're to believe the geese. The relative silence... scary.**

Last year the chaos started at Winter Solstice, and here we are near the 1st of February and no eggs in sight. Last year, the egg-laying season also lasted close to six months, instead of the usual four. I'm not sure what this egg-laying season will bring. I'm hoping for a short but fruitful season this time. Spouse was starting to peruse roast goose recipes towards the end of last season.
-------

In other goose news: reading the current McMurray hatchery catalog, I ran across the following blurb on page 52:

"Geese can be expected to breed past 30 years of age and a 40 year old is not uncommon. 101 years of age is the record."

Holeee crap. Billy-Bob/Bobble-Goose/Bobble-the-Hut, the hunchbacked goose of nine lives, may outlive us all! I began scrambling in my brain, thinking of how to make arrangements for our squeezles after our deaths. Since then, I've read from other breeders that 15-20 years is the usual lifespan of a domestic goose... whew! Still, may have to reconsider the thought of getting some Weeder/Cotton Patch geese.  I think our current flock will keep us on our toes long enough.

** ADDENDUM: Spouse just found out that the geese, who have been hanging out under the (new to us) truck in the mornings, have been chewing on the brake lines. They may be waiting to hatch their young until after they kill us.

[first pic: goose napping on the porch, giving me the hairy eyeball as I snapped her photo through the window. 
second pic: Billy-Bob, the nine-lives goose.
third pic: proof...]

Feast Day at the Farm

As mentioned before, now that the outside employment contract has ended, I have more time to continue regular farm projects. One of those is grocery shopping at reasonable hours, especially during the time the city co-op puts out their free bags of organic produce trimmings for public usage. The trimmings are ostensibly for one's compost pile, but I've often found that much of it is of excellent quality for our birds, and some even for our own soups & salads!

I brought home two bags of trimmings yesterday. Distributed the lettuces & fruits amongst the menagerie, then put the remainder into two shallow cement-mixing pans for continued noshing. This time, I remembered to snap a few photos during the feasting. They're not the best pics (some are shot through the screen windows, most are in shade or in starkly contrasting light), but I hope they give you a smile...

Queen Moe.

Madame Molly

One of the drakes.

Goose says "MINE!"

Billy Bob and the ladies. 

Costumes, Public Embarrassment, and Blue-Green Poo

Our vet was strongly encouraging me to enter one of our geese, chickens or ducks into a costume contest at the local nursing home. "We have so many cats & dogs, but far too few 'exotic' animals... consider it, please? The patients would love it..." I did consider it, but honestly, I couldn't think of much other than putting a paper crown around Queen Moe's tuft on the top of her head. The other thought was how I was going to catch a duck, goose or chicken if it got out, and the bedlam that would ensue.

Oh, if only I had seen this Etsy listing! Partyfowl "Pumpkin Costume for Pet Ducks, Chickens & Geese. I can just see Tugboat Moe, short & stout, with a pumpkin cape on her back. The shop's "Flower Collar" and "Bumblebee" costumes are also a hoot. I'd still have to think of capture strategies in case of escape, but at least Moe would stand out. Next year, next year...

The weather turned chilly for a few days last week. Dug out a Winter work jacket one morning, and realized that I still hadn't fixed the broken zipper. No problem, just close with a couple of small spring clips - no one around to notice but the chickens, right? Then one morning Spouse & I were in a rush to get the animal chores done so I could drive him to the airport. Finish up, hop in the car, go-go-go... then we stopped at Buc-ee's for a quick coffee & gas fill-up. I get out of the car, smiling at all the folks who were looking at me, and then look down... yeah. Still had on that Winter jacket with the bright, day-glo spring clamps closing the front. Err, oops. Can't take me anywhere.

So now that the employment contract has ended, I've time to do more than just maintain the farm. I'm getting bags of free veggie trimmings from the in-town co-op again, and creating more compost. I usually take out and feed to the birds the known "likes": tomatoes, lettuce, fruit. This time, thought I'd try something different. After taking out all the known goodies, I put the remainder of the veggie trimmings into a kiddie pool (after taking out things like raw onions, which are bad for chickens) and let the birds have at it, watching carefully to see what they liked or ignored. Surprised to see that celery was a big hit with the geese, as well as purple cabbage. Didn't realize there'd be another surprise waiting for me a few hours later: blue-green goose poo, all over the front porch. No more purple cabbage for the girls, thankyouverymuch.

Late Summer & Garden Update

Pic: Molly the Jersey Giant and me.
Pic taken with computer camera. I ♥ PhotoBooth.

It's August in South Central Texas. You can tell by watching all the two-leggeds running from air-conditioned cars to air-conditioned buildings. Rarely will you see open car windows on the roads these days, and the only time you'll find people walking recreationally outdoors is in the early morning or early evening hours.

Here on the farm, we have extra wading pools set up for the dogs & the waterfowl, and extra shade structures in place. We've also misting hoses set in strategic areas, where the breeze blows the cooling mist further into the shady areas. All the farm critters congregate and grudgingly tolerate each other in these cooling stations. No one wants to get shoved out into the heat.

August is also a tough time for vegetable gardens - the intensity of the sun & heat will put vegetables into a panic, where they do all they can to conserve resources and stay alive.  One clear winner in the Summer Tomato Sweepstakes this year has been the "wild" compost tomato we found and transplanted to a raised bed, just to see how it would do. It has consistently (and profusely!) fruited all Summer long. Seed will be saved and replanted next year. The plant itself is so humongous it completely took over a 4'x4' raised bed. The other tomatoes that were planted have been subsumed by this beast. Poor babies.

Other tomatoes: The yellow pear has done well. The paste San Marzano was slow to start, and is slowly but steadily fruiting. May try Romas instead next year, see if they're a bit more prolific, or if slow/steady is just the way of pastes. The Dona F1 and the Costoluto Genovese paste fruited little to not at all. Matt's Cherry has almost current-sized fruits, and are too much of a pain to harvest. The chickens get those. The "Dirty Girl" (Campari-like) tomatoes we grew from saved seed didn't turn out so well - that's a risk you take when trying to grow from saved hybrid seed. It was worth a shot. None of the slicing tomatoes have fruited, so I'll have to try another type next year.

The figs are doing well, and one of the new pear trees fruited this year. Ate one of the pears a few days ago... need a few more days yet before they're ready to harvest, probably by next week.

As for me, I've obtained outside employment doing contract work for a major telco. Strange as this may sound, it will afford me more time to blog, as there's always stretches of time (say, lunch hour) where I can do some writing. On the farm, my time isn't as structured, so it gets filled with other things that grab my attention. Like shooing geese away from chewing on the new pressure washer... ahh, too late: they've already chewed through the wiring, and now we gotta take it in for repairs. Good thing processing goose for consumption is such a pain, else Spouse may have started wringing necks and plucking feathers...

Homemade Goose Chew Toy & Video

People don't believe us when we talk about how the geese are avatars of destruction. Window screens, rubber car trim, canvas chairs, curtains: if you don't provide them something better, all will be left in tatters in their wake.

This chew toy is made from fabric strips, scraps of parrot toys that were previously destroyed by the geese, and discarded twine from hay bales. Watch as the goose attacks the twine like it owes her money:



Do you believe us now? ;-)

How to Pill a Goose

Pic: Unamused goose is unamused.

Vet day for Babs the goose, and after all the x-rays and shots were given, I was handed a bottle of pills to give her twice a day for a week. "Have you already given her today's pill?" I ask. "No" the vet tech replies, so I ask if it'd be okay to give her a pill right there in the office, since we already had her in a confined space (catching Babs earlier was no easy feat). "Sure, no problem!"

We take her to a back room. All the vet techs gather to watch. Now understand, I've given pills to geese before, but the staff had never seen such a thing. Easy-peasy, I'm thinking, and puff up a little with pride while getting Babs into position. Put goose on table. Lean arm & shoulder over her body, putting elbow on table to keep her steady under my armpit. With both hands tilt her head back, wedge open her beak, drop the pill in....

*gak!*
*shake*

*fling!*

...and the pill flies across the room.

Huh! Pick the pill (and my pride) up off the floor, and try again. And again. And again. Even with using my finger to push the pill down her throat, she'd snake her tongue around and manage to move the pill aside, then shake her head and fling the pill across the room. Wasn't until the fourth try that the pill finally stayed down. And to think, I get to do this twice a day for a week... yay, me!

One of the staff grinned and put a printout in my hand afterwards. The word "cat" was crossed out, with the word "goose" written in its stead. I present to you: How to Pill a Cat Goose.

[Note: this is a joke. Don't do any of these, okay?]

1. Pick up the goose and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of goose's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As goose opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow goose to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and goose from under chair. Cradle goose in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve goose from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take a new pill from foil wrap. Cradle goose in left arm holding wings tightly. Force beak open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and goose from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with goose wedged firmly between the knees. Ignore hissing emitted by goose. Get spouse to hold goose's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub goose's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve goose from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make a note to buy a new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set aside for gluing later.

8. Wrap goose in large towel and get spouse to lie on goose with it's head just visible from beneath spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force goose's mouth open with pencil and blow down straw.

9. Check label to make sure that pill is not harmful to humans. Drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve goose from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place goose in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with spoon, flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Fetch whisky. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for last tetanus shot. Apply whisky compress to disinfect. Throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call the fire department to retrieve goose from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid goose. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie goose to leg of dining room table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from garage. Force goose's mouth open with small trowel. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of lettuce. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of whisky. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches finger and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture store on the way home to order a new table.

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect the mutant goose from hell and ring local pet shop to see whether they have any hamsters.

BONUS: How to Pill a Dog

1. Wrap pill in bacon. Give to dog.

---

[original author unknown; if you know, will give credit]

First Goose Egg of the Season!

First goose egg we've nabbed before the dogs have, that is. It looks like the geese started laying a few days ago, but the nest areas were empty. Where were they laying? Not in the new nest boxes, but in the duck shelters while the ducks were away. That's my size 8 hand holding the goose egg.

This egg was found, surprise-surprise, in the modified goose shelter that they've rarely used since the thing was originally built three years ago. Spouse espied a goose settling into one of the compartments earlier this afternoon, and we kept our eye on it. Once the goose was off the nest, I knew it was a race between me and the dogs who as to who would discover & get to that egg first. I won this time, w00t! Dogs: 3, Humans: 1.

For a bit more perspective on size...

 

...the ruler is showing the egg is about 5 inches long. There's an extra-large chicken egg to the left. Click on the pic for a larger view. The egg is probably a double-yolk, which is a cool thing for us humans, but not so good for the goose - if she were to try to hatch the egg, the two goslings would never come to term. No twins allowed in egg hatching, just not enough room. Another reason why we don't let our geese hatch their own, as the geese we obtained from a commercial breeder have consistently had genetic problems. Could be due to a bad brooder box, could be issues with their stock of geese. Regardless, it's probably for the best: letting domestic geese raise their own babies results in holeee terrors. The geese we've raised by hand tolerate us. Their babies would feast on our carcasses. 

Links & Pics

Sharon Astyk may be restarting her Independence Days Challenge, which is a public challenge to perform and report back a weekly check-in on the following:

• Plant something
• Harvest something
• Preserve something
• Waste not
• Want not
• Eat the food
• Build community food systems

The point of the challenge is to encourage folks to keep up with their homesteading skills, whether one lives in the country or in the city. I did it for awhile (see/click "independence days" tag on lower right), and am considering doing it again.
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Oh, and the SOPA and PIPA bills have been temporarily shelved! Hopefully the bills will be re-tooled in such a way that artists will be fairly compensated for their work while also protecting Fair Use and access to the Internet. Profile pic text courtesy of http://www.blackoutsopa.org

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A disturbing development, and if the theory is true, our climate is in for a world of hurt. Basically, "global dimming" (from the way pollution particles interact with moisture in the atmosphere, reflecting "out" a percentage of solar energy) may be not only temporarily holding back some of the worse effects of global climate change, but also diverting weather patterns. A one-hour documentary from the BBC, available for viewing via YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8RyNSzQDaU
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Okay, now we need something to smile about. The other week, one of the geese let me pick her up, so I brought her inside the house for a quick photo shoot. Here's me and "Dr. Girlfriend" (so named due to her honk). I've been using this pic as a new avatar/profile pic on Twitter and Google+.

Dr. Girlfriend nibbled on the keyboard while I was mousing open the PhotoBooth app. Didn't crap on me at all. A very calm goose. They usually are when you can get them away from the rest of the gaggle...
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A girlfriend who got to know Miss Cecily while Miss C was convalescing in our house was so touched by the goose's personality, she commissioned a painting by an award-winning folk artist to commemorate Miss C's (aka Squeezlegoose) life. Yes, I cried when I saw the artwork. Thank you Ms. Katie, from the bottom of my heart.

Project: Domestic Goose Nesting Boxes

Pic: these ain't "love" bites.

2012/02/06 Update to article: the geese are using these nest boxes, hooray!!

Soon it will be time to dust off the Kevlar arm braces and prep for egg gathering season! Depending on the weather, our geese start egg-laying anytime from Winter Solstice to late January, and will continue to lay eggs anywhere from April to late May. It's a dangerous time... if you're not a goose. The geese get wicked crabby, extremely territorial, and will gang-up, bite & wing-beat ANYTHING that gets anywhere near a nest. Our geese like to nest in areas they can defend from other animals (including each other), and wherever they're not supposed to be. We don't let this batch hatch little ones - too many genetic problems from the commercial breeder we bought them from - but we do gather and sell their fresh eggs. If Maggie didn't steal so many before we can get to them, one season's-worth of eggs would probably pay for their entire year of feed.

Pic: A-Frame nesting box.

Dave Holderread briefly discusses goose nesting options on pages 96-97 of his book "The Book of Geese". We decided to try out the A-frame nest box this year. The author also suggests setting the nesting boxes out several weeks early so the geese can get used to them - ahh, we may be cutting it a bit short. 

We put the new mitre saw to work on this project. Two pressure-treated 2"x4"s, cut 24" 30" long at the base and at a 30-degree angle. Two pieces of 24" 30" x 28(?)" outdoor plywood for the angled walls. We traced the outline of the back of the nesting box onto plywood to get the backing. A couple screws, some holes drilled into the backing for air flow, some caulking at the top to keep out water, and that was it. I staked down the front of the boxes with some bent rebar Spouse had laying around to keep any gusts of wind from tipping the shelter over. Dave Holderread suggested one box for every six to eight geese. We only have six females, but we went ahead and made four boxes - we've seen how our girls fight over nesting spots.

Pic: modified again goose shelter.

We also modified the big goose shelter (yet again). It's gone from having one opening, to three openings, to now having two openings. It is consistently ignored by the geese, although the chickens like huddle inside when it's raining. Spouse closed up the the middle opening and put in a divider wall down the center, so two geese can (hopefully) feel snug enough and private enough to nest in peace. Now there's six nice nesting boxes for them to use this year. Anyone care to take bets on whether they'll use these boxes or not? Anyone??

I get the hint

 - @dasparky Cleaning out the coop, a #hen let me know in no uncertain terms that a quiet nestbox was needed. Taking break while she lays her egg. 

The Barred Plymouth Rocks are bossy like that.

Cleaned out the duck & goose pond, too. More work on the pond is waiting, but am on an enforced break as the ducks are busy doing their own cleaning:

The geese, not wanting to be left out, have decided to clean themselves en masse as well. In every water container they can find.

Just too danged cute.

One of those days where one can't rush the river.

The Usual Day of Destruction

I spent some time on the porch with the geese... you know, hanging out, taking pictures, being buddies. Before I could do that, they had to make sure I wasn't bugging them. They gave me a good stare down. 

Figuring I wasn't going to bug them (too much), they got comfy and started doing their usual routine: chewing on things. 

Babs chewing on the porch chair. These chairs are the only ones we've found that have stood up to the destructive powers of the geese. 

Not for lack of trying, however.

Geese chewing on an electric cord. The cords don't stand up as well as the above chairs to the chewing. See example below:

This cord was previously plugged into an electrical outlet. Goose was lucky not to have been cooked.  I'm lucky to have a Spouse that knows how to repair these kinds of things. 

Goose attempting to chew on wall plate screw. Because it's there, you know?

And now, chewing on the window trim. The grating sound will get you up from a sound nap, I assure you from experience.

Eventually they'll move on, perhaps bullying Emma the dog away from her dog food, or complaining loudly about something or another that is invisible to the naked human eye. It's a goose thing, you know.

First Goose Eggs of the Season!

I've placed a duck egg and an extra-large chicken egg next to the goose eggs for comparison. The geese are much later laying this season than last - last season, the first egg was laid on the Solstice! I'm wondering if the extra warm winter we're having (compared to the cold one last year) has been affecting their inclinations. Will have to do some research. Anyhow... woo-hoo!

RIP Miss Cecily, aka Squeezlegoose

One of my favorite photos of Miss Cecily

She couldn't pick herself up from the floor. If I was able to help her onto her feet, she was at most able to take three steps before she was back on the ground again. I was helping her stand to drink water, to move around. Her eyes were still bright and alert, but the rest of her body was no longer willing to continue.  It was a hard decision, but in the end, it made sense to have her euthanized. I know, I know - for animals, the term is supposed to be "put down", but you know what? She'd become such a part of this family that I just can't use that term. My apologies to the purists.

Squeezlegoose doing the limbo under the
(supposed) anti-goose barriers for the dog beds.

Spouse said that I always doted on Miss Cecily, even when we first got her as a gosling. Something about the tilt of her eyes, her Very Small Tuft, her calm demeanor, her insistence on sleeping on the dogs' beds, always finding a way around or under any obstruction we'd put in place. How she and Godzilla were sweethearts, even though Tufted Romans are harem-minded by breed. And in the house: how she'd grunt in front of the refrigerator when she wanted greens, or would stand by the stove when she wanted her smoothie. Then how she'd tug on the hem of our shorts or pants, as if stamping her foot impatiently, while we got her food ready. And don't you dare forget to let her have her daily nap on your chest. If you missed the regular nap time, she'd stare you down with those beautiful, beady blue eyes until it felt like a laser piercing your skull. Must. Obey. The Squeezle.

Miss Cecily as a gosling, looking at Billy-Bob as if
to say "dude, you're doing it wrong..."

We're having her autopsied to see if some sense can be made of what she went through, in hopes it can help other birds in the future, and I'll be sure to post results here as well. We can't get her intact body back, but can get it back cremated, so that's what we'll do. Some have said that very few people would have gone to the lengths Spouse and I did to keep Miss Cecily going, in hopes she'd heal from this strange malady. I don't believe this makes us either heroes or fools - it's simply something we did for a beloved pet who gave so much to us. I daresay others would have done similar.

I found a bit of her goosedown on the floor today (amidst many other feathers, as she was going through her Fall molt). In time it will be put into the compost bin, like all things, even eventually our own sweet selves. For now, however, it's on my desk. I pick it up and give it a kiss now and then. Much love to you, Sensei Cecily, Guruji Goose. You taught me so much about life, illness and death. Sweet breezes and fair journeys.

What Was That Word Again?

"There's a little word I'm gonna teach you", my neighbor said. "It begins with the letter 'N', and ends with an 'O'." But-but-but.... it was an abandoned pet goose! With a duck buddy!! How could I say 'no'? I imagine my neighbor would snicker, then patiently attempt to show me how to shape my mouth to make those sounds. 

With that said, let me introduce two new additions to the Big Softie Ranch: Gertie the Pilgrim Goose, and Moe (short for "mohawk") the (as best I can guess) Crested Khaki Campbell Duck. We've had them for about a week now. Gertie is slowly winning over the crabby geese already on the property, starting with Billy-Bob the gander (of course). Moe is getting to know the chickens a bit better, and is no longer stuck like glue to Gertie's side. Lest Moe have problems with species-identification issues, we've ordered ten more Khaki Campbell ducklings to keep her/him company. You know, because it's not right to have one of any particular animal on the farm. Yeah... (ahem). Besides, getting the new batch of ducklings will get Spouse and I off our backsides to finish up the Gooselandia pond. What was going to be an in-ground stock tank has now morphed into a small, slope-sided pond with fish-safe pond liner. We'll throw in some minnows and goldfish to keep the mosquitoes and algae down to a minimum, and... what?

Speaking of "no" and lack thereof, Emma the adopted dog is now definitely "one of us". She proved it by refusing to budge from her napping space, forcing me to work around her as I finished installing lattice on the side porch for the evergreen wisteria. Just like Maggie and Bandit, she figured I'd work around her. Yep, one of us!