A Letter to My Puppies

Dearest puppies of mine,

You don’t know how lucky you are. You have a genuine guardian angel looking after you by the name of Auntie Karen*. Auntie Karen was a dog rescue worker, and is very adamant about proper training and taking good care of puppies like yourselves. Which is a good thing, because if it weren't for valuing her opinion, yesterday’s antics would have got you [action redacted]. Serious as a heart-attack, I was this close to [action redacted]. You do that again, and I’m gonna [action redacted] and ship you off to Auntie Karen, whose dogs will then eat you for lunch. Okay? Okay!

Much love,

Your owner with a developing eye twitch

*a good friend
[photo: Bandit & Maggie, respectively. As of this morning, they're still alive.]
[Edited on 6/26 for better clarity. Actions remain redacted for self protection from Auntie Karen. Puppies remain living as of this date.]


  1. Oh dear...sounds like it's time for Auntie Karen to come down and have a little "quality time" with the precious furry darlings, eh? The other auntie can take you out for an adult beverage :). Patience is a virtue, especially with the small, furry, four-leggeds of the world ::ducks thrown object::

  2. PS-And no, you are not to harm a hair on either precious doggie's head. Yes, or else. :)


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