Don't Panic

Ok -Don't panic. D.A. is out for a few days due to family issues back in Cali and since the dogs can't type a coherent sentence yet (but they are trying- very trying) I guess updates fall to me - the Spouse.

I am new to this blogging stuff so please bear with me. Unfortunately, since D.A. took her iPhone there won't be any pics. Not that I would know how to post them or make them look as good as she does anyway.

As the saying goes "When D.A. is away stuff happens". After returning from dropping D.A. off at the airport I find that both puppies (all 118+ lbs of puppies) are very happy to see me. However, they arrive at my feet covered head to toe in very dark and pungent mud which is transferred to me as they jump and rub against my legs. I felt like a fence being painted by a short drunk using two dog hair brushes four feet long. I was messy and sloppy from the waist down and I smelled like week old river mud.

Without cleaning up, I went into the the chicken-goose enclosure to change the water. I immediately smelled a very different horrible smell. Like week-old rotting, putrid - well - I'll just say it was bad. I couldn't figure out what was causing it. Then I saw a cloud of flies by the feed troughs. I wandered over and realized that one of the fly traps had fallen from the post it was tied to. Apparently the fly trap bag had split at the bottom and when I raised it up the rest of the flies escaped to freedom.

In this case, I must have represented freedom (or another stinky meal) because they started swarming me. If that wasn't pleasant enough, all that smelly liquid fly bait had soaked into the ground where I was standing which brought more flies. So here I am, covered from the waist down in mud- the rest of me is under aerial attack by biting flies and I am standing in a puddle of nasty fly bait. Someone needs to hose down the dogs, the yard, and me.

D.A. has been gone a grand total of 2 hours...maybe I should panic.


  1. Dude, all that in only two hours? Holy crap! Try to survive until I get bad home , okay? And make sure our insurance is up to date!!

  2. Insurance. . . We got insurance?

  3. My nose is all crinkled up... 1. from laughing and 2. from imagining that smell!

    Good thing you don't have the camera. I think you've described it well enough.

    Last night I had a pity party, because I slipped with a bowl full of homemade salsa. The salsa launched and covered everything in the open refrigerator. It was epic and sad, but I think you still win the badge of courage!


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